Abandoning his usually reassuring bedside manner, the Doctor loudly proclaimed "You've endured the lockdown, now endure the ROCK DOWN!"

As masked law enforcement officers escorted him to a nearby vehicle he shouted "No vaccination can protect you from the power of our punk rock virus! Welcome to the new normal!"

Despite many major media organisations running with the story, and the so-called Doctor sporting what could loosely be described as a wine stained lab coat, documents obtained under freedom of information laws show that he has never attended a university. In fact, his father agreed to formally transfer custody to the band after they paid for his focaccia and cappuccino at a Newtown café in 1996.