It’s a tradition every Radiothon: Beat Orgy with Steve Cross and Stolen Moments with John Bailey melding into one. Known as Stolen Orgy, the crossover show is a unique radio experience. But what actually goes into it? And what do these two broadcasters get up to behind the scenes? We ask; they tell.

INTERVIEW MIA TIMPANO

ILLUSTRATIONS EDITH VIGNAL

For those among us who don’t know, what is Stolen Orgy? Steve: From time to time, John and I disconnect the force field between Stolen Moments and Beat Orgy on a Saturday, sedate the guard dogs that prowl the perimeter, and then ineptly kick a ball around on the wasteland for a few hours. John: It’s a musical space where the master (Steve Cross) and the apprentice (me) meet.

Tell us a bit about what crossovers between the shows, Stolen Moments and Beat Orgy, are usually like. Do you get up to any kind of silliness, have serious musical chats... or maybe do something else entirely? Steve: We plan in detail our intention to eat at every Indian restaurant in Melbourne. So far we’ve eaten at one place. Must try harder. John: I tend to play a track that would fit into a Stolen Orgy, then I wave naval flags in the direction of Studio 2 to inform Steve Cross that the time is near for his Beat Orgy. Then he starts his pre-show ritual (that’s top secret, by the way – I’m sworn to secrecy). When we do finally meet face-to-face, we bump fists and talk about the week that was, plan our curry adventures, discuss the week’s musical discoveries and bragging rights for who has the most sponsorship carts.

How did the idea to do Stolen Orgy first arise? John: The idea stemmed from controlling nervous Radiothon anxiety by way of a musical crossover to make the process more enjoyable for the listener (maybe plural there) and ourselves. I’m very happy with the way the brief has been met. Steve: I think we were looking for a way to survive/avoid Radiothon. We thought if we did it together it would be a distraction and maybe even fun. Weirdly, it seems we were right.

Illustration by Edith Vignal

What’s the overriding objective? John: To make Steve Cross unleash his inner jazz and make myself jump down the rabbit hole. Steve: I originally thought that if we did a chunk of the Radiothon shows together I could blame John for my poor subscriber numbers. But now my aim is to have a snooze when John slips into one of his jazz trances.

Do you ever know what each other has in mind ahead of broadcasting? Steve: No, we have no idea what each other is going to play; we don’t want to scare each other or overthink it. John: LOL.

Is there any kind of planning involved, musical or otherwise? John: I have seen smoke signals for a theme once: for Triple R’s 40th anniversary celebration year, during those two Radiothon shows, we only played music released in 1976. Generally, though, it’s no plan, no discussion, no clue. Steve: We always plan to plan, but we get distracted and never get around to it. I might send him a message, saying, “This time it’s 100 per cent bangers, no exceptions, just party tunes.” Then I find myself playing a folk song about whaling in the Pacific in the 1800s.

How does it feel when you kick off the show? Steve: Nervous and chaotic. John: When the men on the chessboard get up and tell you where to go… and you’ve had some kind of mushroom… and your mind is moving low (thank you, Grace Slick, for summing it up perfectly).

Any snacks or beverages to keep you fuelled for the duration? Steve: John’s quite partial to a Babycham. John: Steve Cross only eats blue M&Ms; I’m always up for a Guinness (call me).

Illustration by Edith Vignal

Ordinarily, you both broadcast solo, which means you make all your musical connections yourself. How does this process change when you’re joining forces? Steve: I try to imagine what I could play that John’s listeners might enjoy, or at least something that won’t send them screaming from the room. But it’s guesswork; I have no idea what works for the beard-stroking jazzers. I grew up on Sabbath, New York Dolls and Melanie. John: No change, really. I get to open and explore other musical doors. I treat every show I do like a DJ set – I usually don’t know what I’m going to play until about 30 seconds before I start.

Aside from the fact that you’re sharing the airwaves, does Stolen Orgy allow you to do anything, broadcasting-wise, that you don’t usually get to do on your own show? Maybe explore different musical territory, or get creative in some other way...? John: I think we both stretch out a bit more musically on a Stolen Orgy than our own shows. We give it a bit more of a nudge and get a bit more daring. During a Stolen Orgy I like to get to that point in the sea when your toes don’t reach the bottom anymore, where it’s slightly uncomfortable. When I’m at that point of treading water it’s always nice to see Steve Cross smiling/nodding and not crying. Steve: I have on occasions played songs on the bit of Stolen Orgy that’s in John’s time that I have been nervous and reluctant about playing on a regular Beat Orgy. I figure I get to see if it works, and if it sounds shit, I say I thought it was a good fit for his show.

How do you communicate during the show itself? Steve: Usually we’re in the same studio, but on the recent one during lockdown, there was a lot of running between the two studios, hand-waving and a small amount of crying. John: Steve has a grove of druids that feed me stone tablets of instruction, but he denies this and blames the mushrooms.

Steve admitted during the first-ever April Amnesty Stolen Orgy that neither of you are “technical geniuses”. So, how do you manage it all from a logistical perspective? Steve: Nobody listens to Stolen Orgy for technical excellence. We did the April Amnesty show from two separate studios in the building due to the lockdown. Five minutes before kick-off we hadn’t figured out how to hear each other, but fortunately Sister Denise Hylands (she of Twang) came to the rescue and revealed herself to be quite the techie. John: We do it for the people.

That April Amnesty Stolen Orgy also went for a full four hours, taking over both your shows. Did it feel like a marathon, or did it fly by? John: Super-fast. It was so much fun – I had no expectation of how many people would phone in or go online, but as soon as the first song was played, the phones started lighting up. It was incredible. We did an honest day’s work that day, guv! Steve: It flew by. We thought a few people might phone up and subscribe/donate, but then the phones went mad, so we were cueing up records and desperately trying to take calls. It got a little loose. People were amazingly generous; we were taken aback by how big-hearted they were with their support for the station.

Illustration by Edith Vignal

Have you ever had any major stuff-ups over the years? Steve: Um… where would you like me to start? John: The mushrooms.

It’s always such a fun listening experience for us at home (or wherever we’re catching the show). Tell us about some of the most interesting feedback you’ve received.

John: I’m always blown away at how well Stolen Orgy is received; people are very kind and supportive. It’s an incredible thing to be involved with. I actually get the juicy phone calls during my own show – no names. Steve: I think I got told off for playing Genesis.

What’s the best part of doing the Stolen Orgy specials? Steve: During Radiothon it really takes the pressure off us, or at least we distract each other enough to not worry about it. John: Steve Cross.

Favourite-ever Stolen Orgy moment? Steve: I loved it when John dropped “On The Boards” by Taste. I’ve been besotted by it since I was a kid. I used to hear it on late-night radio and it was so evocative; I had no idea what kind of music it was and still don’t really. I’d assumed a guitar-led trio had to be heavy, but that track has such a deft touch and so much space, it stands outside of everything. John: Every time Steve Cross plays “I Say A Little Prayer” by Rashaan Roland Kirk – that’s when I smile and nod. I’m pretty sure a track by Roland Kirk (Steve Cross), Joy Division (me) and David Bowie (Steve Cross or me) has been played every Stolen Orgy. I reckon that’s a good tradition to keep up.

Have you changed in any way as a broadcaster as a result of the Stolen Orgy tradition? Steve: Beat Orgy has always been pretty loose; I don’t have much conception of or respect for the notion of musical genres and I loathe the idea of a “guilty pleasure”. I just play stuff that sounds OK to me. But I think the collaborations have maybe made me a little more spontaneous. I perhaps fly by the seat of my pants a little more. John: I think I’m more daring and braver, musically – not so obvious about what’s going to happen next, more adventurous with my selections. Also, no longer scared of druids and I actually look like an Archdruid. Life’s weird.

What have you learned about each other through doing Stolen Orgy? Steve: It helps if you actually turn the studio on before you start playing records and talking. John: I learn something from Steve Cross every week, just like the regular listeners to his Beat Orgy. I’m a fan of his show, so it’s a real buzz for me to do Stolen Orgy with the main man. I’ve also gained a very good friend in Steve Cross, so it’s truly amazing for me.

It’s probably way too early to say, since we’re doing this interview in May, but what do you reckon folks can expect from the Radiothon 2020 Stolen Orgy? John: Seeing as the April Amnesty Stolen Orgy was so well received, there are discussions we will revisit with two four-hour shows for both Saturdays. Steve: My people are talking to John’s people. It’s a bit like the negotiations that go on between the former members of Yes every time they consider playing with each other again. John wants limo service; I’m holding out for catering by Madonna’s chef.

Anything else you’d like to let folks know about Stolen Orgy? Steve: The Happy Valley Lifestyle Village DJs are available for functions, but Matron likes us home by midnight. John: Nothing’s stolen and there’s never been an orgy.

This interview originally appeared in Triple R's triannual subscriber magazine, The Trip. Mia Timpano is Triple R's content and communications coordinator, editor of The Trip, and host of Requiem For A Scream. Edith Vignal presents “Things To Do Today” on Vital Bits.